POEMS

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SO PAINFUL

And i just wish i could get you out of my head,
because you're causing nothing but pain.
and i just wish i could say goodbye,
because it's driving me insane.

i should have let you love me,
but instead, i turned away.
i should have told you how i felt,
i should have let you stay.

but the truth is, i was scared..
because i've never felt this way before,
i wasn't sure that i could love you.
but i did.. and my heart tore.

i gave you all i could..i gave you everything i had.
but i guess it wasn't enough, because now im left with nothing.
i don't know if this is love.. i don't know if this is it.
but i do know it hurts.. i do know, it's something.

it's hard to say i miss you,
it's hard to say that i was wrong.
and now it's time for me to forget you,
it's time for me to move along.

we'll never see what we could have been,
and you'll never know just how much i cared.
but at least i can say i learned from it,
because i've never felt so scared.

i know i could never forget you,
but im trying my best to let you go.
this experience has been so painful,
so exhilerating, yet so slow.

I MISS YOU

I miss your smile
I miss your face
Your touch
Your laugh
Your warm embrace

I miss your body
Press against mine
Everything we had
Has faded away

I miss every sacred kiss
Right up to the last
It hurts inside
Real bad
Knowing it's all memories
Of my past

I miss the way
You used to gaze
Deep into my eyes
How you read me inside out
Even heard my silent cries

I miss the way you loved me
Till the end of time
You went with another
How can you emotionally
Hurt someone you loved??
I'll never understand

I miss being with you
I can't take it that
We're apart
My brain can understand
But I can't get it
Through my heart

I know I shouldn't want you
But my heart won't let you go

I WONDER

I wonder if he remembers me
Or if I'm just a memory
I wonder if he thinks of us
Or if he finds it useless
I wonder how things would be
If he had never left me
I wonder how he is
And if I'm still a love of his
I think about him everyday
And wonder if he's okay
I think about how happy we were
And the memories make the tears stir
I think about the plans we made
While we were laying in the shade
I think about all we said
And the lives we lead
To not know
Where to go
To not know where to find
A place where he may hide
To not be able to see his face
Puts my heart so out of place
To not know when he's near
Is my greatest fear
There's so much in my head
That I wish I'd said
There's so many missed kisses
For my unanswered wishes
There's only so many ways
For me to make it through the days
There's so little light
In my heart tonight
What would I say
If given a day
What would happen
If I could have him
What joy it would bring
To hear him sing
What would I feel
If he were here for real
I miss him each day
That he is away
I miss him looking out for me
The way it used to be
I miss his love
That protected me like a glove
I miss him
So much it's made my heart dim
I wonder if he still cares
That's a question that tears
I wonder what he's like
If he'd tell me to take a hike
I wonder if he fears
That I don't hold him dear
But most of all
I wonder if he still loves me
Or if I'm just a memory
Of what used to be....